For this first Seafair of the post-9/11 era, it is our patriotic duty to celebrate, for as our Founding Fathers and the Beastie Boys have both observed, one must fight for one's right to party. Come then, and fight for it here, Sunday, Aug 4, from 10AM until I tell you to please please for the love of god go home.

The Blue Angels fly at noon, and then other stuff happens in the sky and on the lake, but who cares? Trick question, for if we look away--even for a moment--the terrorists will have won. Also, if a swarthy young man or men blow up the Blue Angels in mid-stunt with a homemade missile cobbled from pop bottles, PVC pipe, and propane, the terrorists will also have won, at least for the day. And although none of us wishes even remotely for a second in our eighth-grade-boy dreams that such a tragedy occur, we would kick ourselves like rage-aholic donkeys for missing it if it did. (If life gives you lemons, you gotta stop and smell them.)

Assuming another Blue Angels performance unmarred by tragedy, we shall adjourn from the roof deck for Jones BBQ and sides (known east of the Rockies as "fixins").

There are two beers on tap in the keg-o-rator this year (Pyramid Curve Ball and Pyramid Hefeweizen [despite my repeated letters, Pyramid brewing has yet to name a beer Scheme]), which will doubtless lead to a return of helium balloon skeet-shooting with my BB gun (yes, the weapon/toy was named after the famed bluesman). There will also be plenty of other fun roof-top activities for the kids, plus a pool on the ground, so have them either bring swimsuits or leave inhibitions; we will have towels if you forget them. We will also have sunscreen if you forget that, but I reserve the right to apply it and that might be a higher price than you'd care to pay.

Oh, there is always a semi-potlucky [deal with that, spellchecker] aspect to this event, which means bring something if you wish but do not feel obligated.

Also, Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has asked that I conduct a cavity search of each guest should that day's terrorism warning color be anything warmer than Burnt Sienna. Complying with the letter of the law rather than its spirit, I will be conducting said searches as you leave, concerning myself chiefly with pilferage, and even then only by the cleaner and/or more attractive of you.

Bill & Beth

Traffic-Avoiding Directions:

From I-5 either direction, take the Columbian Way exit (just South of the old Rainier brewery)
Follow Columbian Way for 2 miles until it becomes Alaska St. (heading south then curving east, veering left at 15th Ave S. in front of McPherson's Produce. If you fail to veer, you will find yourself heading south on 15th Ave until you see Boeing Field, at which point I suggest you simply go there, watch the Blue Angels take off and [hopefully] land, then go home. Be sure to leave any PVC pipe or pop bottles in your car.)
Turn Right on Rainier Ave S. (heading south)
Go about a mile, then Left on Orcas (heading east)
Go about a mile, then Left on Wilson (heading north)
Go about a half mile, then Right on S. Alaska St. (Noah's Grocery on corner)
Go 1 block. We're in the house on the SE corner with 3 Vista Cruisers in front (5103 S. Alaska St.) Parking will be scarce (those Vista's ain't tiny), so head south 1 block to the park, around which there should be plenty of parking

Traffic-Lover's Directions:

From I-90 either direction, take the Southbound Rainier Ave S. exit
After merging into the clot, place a For Sale sign in the window and just walk away
Go 2 miles, then left on Genesee
Go half a mile, then right on 51st
Three blocks to Alaska St.

"Your Directions Suck" Bitch-Line: 206 721 2418 (toll-free in western Washington)